Clearing Conflict Within

I want to unfold.
Let no place in me hold itself closed,
For where I am closed, I am false.
I want to stay clear in your sight.

Ranier Maria Rilke

When an incident disturbs our peace of mind, we have choices. We’ve all had experiences where we’ve felt unjustly attacked or betrayed. We can turn the conflict over and over in the mind, our thoughts spinning ever tighter, like the bands inside a golf ball. We can attempt to forget it, just toss the betrayal over the fence. Both of these choices close us down. A part of the mind constricts. If we follow the first course of action, obsessing about the incident, we can lose sleep, we can be distracted from our work, and we can distance ourselves from our intimates. Eventually, the knotted ball of pain is internalized in the body, joining in with a chronic tension in the shoulders or neck, or wherever we store stress. We know the effect of stress on body and mind—the increased risk of heart disease is just the most obvious. If we’re anxious and losing sleep over the issue, the insomnia can lead to depressed mood, and we can feel trapped in a seemingly unending cycle of anxiety and depression.

If on the other hand, we attempt to toss it over the fence, “Just let it go,” as a well-meaning friend might say, we may find ourselves raiding the carb cabinet in order not to feel. Or we might indulge in other forms of mindless, patterned behavior (watching too much television, surfing the internet, drugs, sex, alcohol) to numb the pain. Whether we worry and obsess, or try to bury it under the rug, we are closing off parts of ourselves. When we are feeling stressed or scared or misunderstood, it’s easy for those closed off, defended parts to take the lead. We might appear rigid or protected or defensive or falsely congenial. Those closed-down parts within us are there for good reason. They’ve been wounded and they want to protect us from further hurt. Sometimes they do their job so well, that we feel nothing at all. Rilke’s quote speaks for our wise and compassionate inner knowing that wants those young, wounded, shut-down parts to know that it’s safe to release. But how do we clear? How do we stay open through the pain of injustice and betrayal?

One way to do that is to cultivate a practice that helps us clear the space within, which means developing a time to sit daily, watching without judgment what is arising. This doesn’t mean that we deny the object of our dark ruminative thoughts, but rather we have the clarity to observe the incident and notice where it lodges in the body-mind without reacting. But at times it feels impossible to sit through the discomfort of our thoughts and not spiral into a darker place. We might rise from the cushion, feeling just the opposite of Rilke’s expressed yearning. Instead, of the unfolded, open, clarity we seek, we feel as though the fog has rolled in.

I know of no better practice to shine a light through the fog, opening and unfolding us to the clear space beneath the current pain than a practice that engages breath and the energy centers known as the chakras. It’s a short practice that can shift the mood, reminding us that though the feelings and thoughts may remain, we are so much more than our ruminations. It can create a spacious awareness of grounded presence where mindfulness naturally arises—a beautiful portal into meditation.

The practice:

  1. Sit comfortably with the spine erect or lie down. Begin to notice the breath—first at your nostrils, as it flows in and out, and then notice how the belly is receiving the breath. Notice if the chest is responding to the breath.
  2. Now imagine that you are inhaling through the crown of your head. Imagine that you are exhaling through your feet. As you inhale through your crown, say to yourself, “I am.” As you exhale through your feet, say to yourself, “here.” Repeat several times, varying it by exhaling through the seat with the word, “grounded.”
  3. Inhale through the crown, with the words, “I am.” Exhale through the brow point with the word, “clarity.” Repeat several times.
  4. Inhale through the crown, with the words, “I am.” Exhale through the heart with the word, “compassion.” Repeat several times.
  5. Now visualize what you imagine to be the source of the conflict you are facing. Inhale through the crown, with the words, “I am.” Exhale through the solar plexus with the word, “courage.” Repeat several times.
  6. Now visualize an image for calm strength. This can be a scene from nature, an animal, or a powerful image of yourself . As you hold this image in your heart’s mind, inhale through the crown, with the words, “I am.” Exhale through the solar plexus with the words “calm strength.” Repeat several times.
  7. In the final rounds of this breathing meditation, Inhale through the crown, with the words, “I am.” Exhale through the heart with the word, “love.”
  8. Now you can remain in meditation, or if there’s a desire to take a harmonizing action that is related to the conflict, you might explore that in writing and then follow through with your action.

Yoga Skills for TherapistsFor more than 50 yoga-based practices to help and those you serve with mood-management, read Yoga Skills for Therapists (W.W. Norton)

About the Author

Amy Weintraub

Amy Weintraub E-RYT 500, MFA, YACEP, C-IAYT, founded the LifeForce Yoga® Healing Institute, which trains yoga and health professionals internationally, and is the author of Yoga for Depression and Yoga Skills for Therapists. The LifeForce Yoga protocol is used by health care providers worldwide. She is involved in ongoing research on the effects of yoga on mood.

Leave a comment.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Sign up for our Newsletter

Cart

What People Say

“This program changed my life in a significant way. It helped me connect with the spirit which is something you can’t get from psychotherapy and medication.” – G. W., artist, Pittsburgh, PA
“Words do not do justice to all that I learned. This workshop changed my life!” — Jen Nolan, Teacher, Cortland, NY
“I began a fantasy during the meditation exercise... almost as if I’d been there. It’s now an on-going work of fiction.” — Serian Strauss, Tanzania
“I have found the LFYP training to be incredibly useful in giving people specific tools to use in maintaining physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual balance, and further opening their intuitive abilities.” — Nancy Windheart, RYT-200, LFYP, Reiki Master, Animal communication teacher, Prescott, AZ
“I gained tools for working with my own depression and with my clients’ depressions.” — Robert Sgona, LCSW, RYT, psychotherapist, Yoga teacher, Camden, ME.
“I gained perspective of who I am in the world and this will change my life significantly.” — Mary Ford, artist, Southport, CT
“I came hoping to learn to move past some of the obstacles blocking my creativity. Over the course of this weekend, I feel I’ve gained a certain measure of faith in myself and in my ability to change. I also had some realizations that I believe will be very helpful to me. I feel encouraged. Both the content and presentation of this program were so well-thought out that I can’t think of any way to improve it.” — Andrea Gollin, writer & editor, Miami, FL
“I integrate strategies like mantra tones and pranayama, but above all I invite myself and those I teach to cultivate svadhyaya, to practice self-observation without judgment.” — Barbara Sherman, RYT 200, LFYP, Tucson, AZ
“I have been reminded that I am not on this path alone, that others are sharing the journey that sometimes seems so difficult. I have also been reminded of the importance of daily practice and I will do that. The whole program has been an incredible experience for me. Thank you!” — Lorraine Plauth, retired teacher, Voorheesville, NY
“I learned lots of ways to reduce the anxiety and depression of my patients and myself.” – Aviva Sinvany-Nubel, PhD, APN, CNSC, RN, psychotherapist, Bridgewater, N.J.
“My life is already changed! I will use the tools I learned in my own practice and in my work. I feel safe and seen.” — Susan Andrea Weiner, MA, teacher/expressive arts facilitator, El Cerrito, CA.
“A client who returned said, "When I came before, you helped me understand and get where I wanted to go. Now you show me yoga practices I use to help myself understand and get where I want to go.” — Sherry Rubin, LCSW, BCD, LFYP, Downingtown, PA
“My personal practice will change, as well as my yoga classes. I have a better understanding of yoga!” — Andrea Gattuso, RYT, Yoga Teacher, Hackettstown, N.J.
“This workshop has changed so much — my self-image and my life. My own heart’s desire is 100% clear. I gained tools to help myself and others to live life fully.” — Marcia Siegel, Yoga teacher, therapist, Carlsbad, CA.
“I have gained an incredible opening and clearing of old obstructions. I hope to return to my life and fill this opening with things I love to do and that give me joy!” — Lisa Shine, administrative assistant, Ballston Lake, NY
I absolutely love this stuff! I have been using it with my clients and I am just finding it to be so incredibly helpful. There seriously something for everything. Although I am not as skilled as I hope to be someday, even at my level of training I’m finding that I am beginning to figure out what to do. It just blows my mind! - Christine Brudnicki, MS, LPC
“I feel profoundly transformed, both physically and emotionally. The connection between mind, body and spirit was clearly evident to me, but revealed to me through this workshop as an integrally vital link to overall health.” — Nadine Richardson, program manager at rehab agency, Monroe, CT
“I have gained a softer heart, more receptive mind, and tools to enrich both personal and professional aspects of my life.” – Regina Trailweaver, LICSW, clinical social worker, Hancock, VT.
“Giving my clients a strategy and permission to quiet their minds and rebalance the sympathetic nervous system has been very beneficial to them and in our work together.” — Sue Dilsworth, PhD, RYT 200, LFYP, Allendale, MI
“This workshop helped me rededicate my energies and begin to work through some of the blocks I’ve felt creatively.” — Steve Mark, college professor, New Haven, CT
“I have found the pranayama (breathing practices) especially easy to introduce in a clinical setting. Some people have benefited quickly in unexpected and transformative ways.” — Liz Brenner, LICSW, LFYP, Watertown, MA
“Yoga Skills for Therapists is the ideal resource for those who want to bring yoga practices into psychotherapy or healthcare. Weintraub, a leader in the field of yoga therapy, offers evidence-based, easy-to-introduce strategies for managing anxiety, improving mood, and relieving suffering. Helpful clinical insights and case examples emphasize safety, trust, and skillful adaptation to the individual, making it easy to apply the wisdom of yoga effectively in the therapeutic context.” — Kelly McGonigal, PhD, author, Yoga for Pain Relief, Editor-in-Chief, International Journal of Yoga Therapy
“I utilize the LFY techniques in both a class room setting and one-on-one environment. The skills have infused my teachings with compassion, mindfulness, and awareness.” — Kat Larsen, CYT, LFYP
“My patients can now have the same effects as many medications without having to actually take medication!” — Deborah Lubetkin, PSY.D, LFYP, West Caldwell, NJ
Scroll to Top